Beauty Springs Forth from Knowing Thyself and Devotionmaxxing

I’ve never really given myself to a canvas. Art was never really something I saw in paintings. Whenever the great artists were mentioned, I’d think: “So some guy decided to dedicate his life to drawing his surroundings. So what? What’s the big deal?” But I changed. I want to start painting. I think I kind of understand why some artists went insane. I don’t remember his name, but I remember thinking that the one who cut his ear off was weird. Why did he cut his ear? Google said it was Van Gogh who did that. I want to express myself freely on a canvas with every single brushstroke. I’d love to enrol in swimming lessons. I want to learn horseback riding. I’ve spent so much of my existence contorting my voice and body and ideas and mind into much smaller pieces than they originally were.

I’m so done with the people in my life telling me that their reality is the one true reality and that I must partake in it. I know what I am. I know who I am. I know what I believe in. I am kind, and generous, smart, and beautiful both inside and out. Shrinking is what a person does when they want to fit in another’s narrative. I finally know myself and why I am here. Every moment I realize that, I genuinely say alhamdulilah, and not in the empty way most of us say it.

I’m devoted to the One and Only. The One called ٱلْحَقُّ, or, The Absolute Truth. Every act springs from that devotion. One reason why I’ve lately been thinking about the protagonist of Kill Bill, Beatrix Kiddo, is that after it dawns on her that she endured hell at the hands of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, they’re already dead to her. The reason why everyone in her kill list is dead is because she knows herself deeply. She lost her baby, spent four years comatose, and was taken advantage of her healthcare provider during that time. But the point isn’t that she was targeted by all of those people at a point in her life where she was weaker and even unconscious. The point is that once she’s aware of everything, nothing matters.

I’m saying all of this to say: don’t be a silly rabbit. Stop inventing fake barriers for yourself. No one can stop you from being what you want to be except yourself. Nothing is in your way except yourself. Be true to yourself. Deep inside, you know who you are. You know what you desire. You know what you deserve. What you’re seeking is already inside you. You already have the money you want. You have already achieved the closeness you desire with the Most Merciful. You must believe that you are able to be as you want to be.