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Let me be absolutely honest: I’m the type to leave things where they are then frantically try to get them done at the very last minute. I like the feeling of adrenaline rushing through my body from doing that. But that’s not how life has been for the past few months. I didn’t have much to do for the past year or so, so naturally, I’ve slowed down. I actually sat down and have taken the time to seriously consider where I want my life to go and the final outcome I desire.

The past few days reminded me of the times I used to shut my mind off and just rush, rush, rush through everything. Alhamdulilah, for the past week or so, I did everything I had to do; I even did it ahead of time! Yay!!! That’s so good, right!? I’m new to this calming feeling. If I could describe it to you, I’d say it’s like waking up in the morning in the midst of a small mountain town and sitting by a river with the sound of water gushing by. I’m so focused on the sound of the water slapping against the rocks. I’m not wondering if my cabin is burning down because I forgot to turn the oven off. I know I did the best I could. 

I asked Allah to continue to watch over me. My lord, I need you to help me take the path most pleasing to you! I care about my desires less than I care about what pleases You most. I desire to live the rest of my days fearing you and not anyone or anything else; hoping for the best from you; and praying to You. I pray that I and those who believe in you choose the path that brings us closest to You!  Ameen.

I kinda miss the rush; maybe that’s because I’m not getting the nice feelings I used to associate with it. But this is good. Being calm in my daily life allows me to be more focused and confident in myself and the choices I make. Alhamdulilah. Back then, I used to go to sleep and wake up worried. I thought a lot about whether or not I did the best I could. I also never worried about what Allah thought about the choices I made, and that ultimately turned out to have a huge negative impact on my life. Time moves on, though. You live and you learn!

I’m doing the things I’m doing right now with Allah at the centre of it all. I’m not too concerned about whether I get them done or not in the very few years I have left on this planet so long as Allah stays number one in my life. If things work out, alhamdulilah, and may Allah swt increase me in humility, love and understanding. If things don’t work out, then may Allah swt have mercy on me and grant me the opportunity and desire to pivot towards something else. Either way, I’m good. As long as I have Allah, I’m happy. May the Most Merciful continue to bless me and you, dear reader, with mental soundness, agility, courage, wisdom, and make us of the people of ihsaan. Ameen. Okay. That’s all for now. I’m done for the day. I hope you had a good day today. If you didn’t, I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow. Bye!