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Obviously, it’s a piece of cake. I do not view the things that are stopping me from getting what I want as impediments that need to be worked on. Life is good!!! Life is spectacular, alhamdulilah. It’s times like these a Muslim is capable of falling into ingratitude. You realize that life is amazing, and you don’t thank the One who made it so. Alhamdulilah. A thousand times over, I say alhamdulilah.
There are more things I need to consider now that I’m a little older. Nevertheless, I’m still glad that I’m older. I’m living in the days I used to look forward to when I was younger. Alhamdulilah. There were benefits to not living in the same place all my life. I’m more equipped with the ability to let go. That sounds a bit sad, but I’m glad I have this skill. My sort of addictive personality would’ve probably been worse than it currently is if I stayed in the same place. I imagine it would have been harder for me to leave or let go of people/things, especially since I’m the kind of person who is prone to staying longer than necessary.
My dad knocks my door and immediately opens it and comes in. What’s the point of knocking if he’ll just come in either way? I’m not talking to him these days. He still hasn’t apologized to me, and I stopped waiting for an apology some time ago. If it were something minor, I would’ve swept it under the rug a long time ago. Right now, I’m laying on my bed sideways, typing this out with my back to the door. I don’t know why he comes into my room. He knows I won’t talk to him. I feel mildly annoyed because he didn’t properly close my door. I think everyone in my house knows that it annoys me when they leave the door open or even slightly ajar. I think that’s why they keep doing that.
Why have I always put unnecessary pressure on myself? It just made me hate life more. I’ve reached a point where my concern list has only 1 point: Allah. Allah is my top concern. Everything I do, I do for Him. I can overcome everything because I have Allah. If nothing goes my way, I’m still a winner because I have Allah. Yesterday, I dreamt I could control air. I used my left hand; I moved it in circular motion and I could sort of see this long line of air coming from my window. I directed the air at my door to shut it completely. It worked.
I woke up feeling like Aang. Here’s the thing: instead of asking Allah what the dream meant, I turned to TikTok and google. After reading about what my dream meant and a lot of scrolling on TikTok, I felt guilty. I realized that instead of turning to the Creator, I turned to His creation. Let this be your reminder, dear reader, to ask Allah before you ask anyone else. May He teach us the way He taught our first father Adam (as). Ameen. I’m under my blanket right now because I don’t know if my dad’s going to come into my room again. I really don’t want to see him and vice versa. I wonder why I hide my face from people whenever something not-so-good happens either to me or between us.