Life could be going well for me, when all of a sudden… BAM! Something unsavoury happens that reminds me to never get too comfortable in this world. The Prophet S.A.W was onto something when he advised us to be in this world as wayfarers. The closest thing that reminds me of wayfarers are people who decide to drop everything and backpack all over Asia for a year or two.

I decided to go to bed early after I drank an energy drink. I’m here now. I couldn’t sleep. Today’s the first time I’ve had one since the year started. I used to drink two MONSTERS when I was in school. I really needed something to get me through my studies. Even before that, during COVID, I discovered Red Bull. That was a period of my life where my mental state was probably the worst it has ever been, but… heyyyy!!! I can’t be too confident that it was the worst period of my life. I now fully understand never to label experiences, things, or people as entirely bad or entirely good. The resplendent, perfect religion I follow advises that we be moderate in everything, that we take the middle road. I sometimes find this advice challenging to follow.

I forgot the quiet, undercurrents of anxiety I used to feel a few hours after drinking. I believe I’m changing for the better. I’m confident that my Lord will provide a dignified path and solution to my worries, though I couldn’t point out to you exactly what it is I’m worried about. Maybe this is why I stopped drinking energy drinks. I don’t remember thinking that I needed to cut them out of my life and never touch an energy drink again. I think I knew I didn’t like this feeling I’m currently feeling. Maybe that’s why it slowly disappeared from my life.

I think as long as I live, I’ll always be equally worried and hopeful about tomorrow. I want to introduce a new way of viewing my life: I want to constantly remember that I’m a dying person. We’re all dying, sooner or later. I don’t think any of us were ever properly taught to prepare for the day we or our loved ones will inevitably meet the angel of death. You can die at any moment. Okay. I believe that’s all for today. Oh, wait. I just remembered to say: control your anger. Don’t lose your marbles over someone or something. Everything is temporary. Everyone in your life is there for a specific amount of time. Make the best of it. Try your absolute best to understand and consider doing good. Consider forgiveness.

Don’t push the bad stuff to the deep and dark outskirts of your mind. You don’t have to forget, but you have to process what happened to you so that it doesn’t consume you whole. Talk to Allah about it. This is what I do: I write to Allah. Allah knows me best. Allah knows me better than I know myself. In the end, all good and all bad comes from your Lord, and no living being will ever harm you unless your Lord allows it to happen. And when harm comes your way, turn to your Lord. Your Lord is the Most Merciful. You wouldn’t be able to count the mercies that the Most Compassionate showered you with. Humble yourself before the Mastermind of the heavens and the earth. If you choose to not do that, remember that decision you’ve chosen. Remember that it was your own decision that led you to your destruction. Okay, I love you. Choose good.

فِي أَمَانِ اللَّهِ