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I have an unhealthy obsession with food. I wake up and the first thing I think about is what I’m going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even after I finish eating my excessive meals, I think about what kinds of snacks are available in the house and where they are.
Oh my god, it’s so pathetic of her to admit this shameful behaviour, booooooo!
What EVER. Eye roll.
…
Yes I get sassy and sarcastic when I’m angry.
Point is… food is a problem for me. An addiction, if you will. I can’t seem to shake it off. I’ve been fasting to ween off food but the days I fasted have been inconsistent. I need a rigid structure if I’m going to attain control over my insatiable appetite. Everyone has their weak points, and for me, I guess it’s food.
Life wasn’t always like this. When I was younger, I don’t remember ever obsessing over food. I had an actual life, that is, until I got introduced to phones and social media. I think my overconsumption started with YouTube, not with food. Actually, even before YouTube was watching K-dramas. My sister and an old friend of hers introduced me to those when I was a tween. Then there was YouTube. Watching videos from so many different spheres of lifestyles was fascinating, and mind-expanding. It was also easy to click on the next video. Then COVID came and scrolling and watching content was all I ever did, except my consumption pool expanded to TikTok. That was something.
In a way, I think my internet habits eventually leaked over to my eating habits. That really sucks, doesn’t it?
May Allah make it easy for all the food addicts out there. And especially for the sugar lovers, because I’m one too. Sugar was the first thing I loved on this planet. The earliest memory I have of myself involves me eating a gummy worm. I’ll have to curb my love for it though because there are a bunch of unfavourable outcomes that’ll happen from consuming too much sweet stuff.
Insha’Allah I get to eat all the candy I desire in the next world. I’ll probably own my own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory operations and sell candy to people in Jannah lmao. I don’t see why the concept of selling would exist there, since its literally Jannah and everyone gets what they want without getting charged… buttttt just know I’ll be giving out sweet stuff to every resident. That’s just one of the things on my Jannah wishes/to-do list. Insha’Allah we all get there by the mercy and grace of Allah, and for the efforts we put into restraining our desires in this world.